Dis Random shit

If you put “Extremely self-loathing, depressed, and suicidal” then you win 10,000 Zimbabwe Dollars.

SO FUCKING EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn’t know how to classify my thoughts right now. I think I may have lost my mind; don’t we all at some point lose our minds or is it just me? I have been living inside my head for a long time now, but I never saw anything wrong with me before because I always lived in my head, because it beats living in the real world but I see that it has gotten worse since I started college. I wasn’t strange or creepy as a kid, I was just know as the young girl with a lot of wisdom but very few words and that’s how I liked it. I hated social interaction like crazy and tried to avoid them as best as I could. I used my daydreams as a place to escape the feelings and pain I felt and it worked because I was able to fit a mold and be normal for once, but now I feel this little trick of mine may have a huge drawback to it. I don’t know what to say to real life people anymore and I feel the feelings that I thought were died have come back now that the loud voices of my friends are gone. Sadness, Rage, Nervousness, Love, Lust, Cruelty. I thought that side of me wasn’t real but I guess it is; am I going crazy or is it just me? I feel like a different person now and I hate this strange bitch who decided that she was going to take over my body and drive me up the wall. I feel lonely and yet i don’t want anyone near me, I feel angry yet there is no reason to be, and I feel soulless and dead even though I’m still alive. I need help like real help but how can I get help if I don’t even know whats wrong with me? I feel sleepy, but I know I won’t be able to.

Holy shit I need to get my shit together

Welp, it looks like I lost my best friend today and lost some respect for another new one. People suck.

A hot guy is texting you? And you don’t know what to say? This is the amount of fucks I give : -10,000. Why come to me with this shit?

You were like a sister to me. Me and you were one soul separated. We liked all the same things and all was right with the world. We entered high school and we grew into different people. I think that made us closer. At the end of high-school I realized our companionship might change, after all we were going to different schools. Once we started college, it did. We rarely talked, would go months at a time without seeing each other, and texting you is just fucking cruel since all you give are one word replies. I don’t know what happened but it’s killing me. I rarely ever let anyone get that close to me but you did. Then you decided to piss all over my trust of you. I wouldn’t be so mad if I thought you were too busy with school and life to hang but I know that’s bull. Facebook reviles your lies EVERY FUCKING TIME. Out with new people and never a call or text to come with. I feel so shitty, not because you ruined my trust but that the person you choose over me is someone that you don’t even like. I don’t know what to say anymore. I lost my sister.